I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
