you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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