Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
