that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
