Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
