My hair reeks of homosexuality.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
