did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
