You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize