i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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