is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize