I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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