It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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