Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
