he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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