I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
