Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
