Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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