It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
