she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dignity is for republicans.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
