Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize