If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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