I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
