omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
