You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
