guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize