drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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