closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
