Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Acid is not a monday night drug
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
