dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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