At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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