Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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