so that wasnt chicken after all
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
