i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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