arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
