Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
