Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We left the knife in your bed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize