There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
