Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
