Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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