Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
