he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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