I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
