I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
