No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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