I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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