i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
