I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
