you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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