well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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