i think i have two assholes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
