Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
