Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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