"it" just moved
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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