i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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