My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
