people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
