I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
