i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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