They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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