what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
