batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
