I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
