just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize